To Do List

I thanked my mother today. I woke up with the feeling that it was something I needed to do. Something she needed to hear. So I called her with all the words and emotions bubbling in my throat. No answer. As I went through the motions of daily life I contemplated the things I should say, if I should say them, and if I should leave anything out. Just when I had gotten everything confused and packed in my brain, my phone rings. Its her.

"What d'ya want? I'm at the doctor with your brother? He needs his physical for Football."

Shyness like I havn't felt in years, "Oh nothing."

"You don't call for nothing. What was it?"

"I just wanted to thank you, for everything...."

I went on and on. Thanking her for all the decisions she made, wrong or right they made me who I am. I thanked her for worrying and for being there and for listening to me even if it was something she didn't want to hear. For letting me make decisions without telling me what to do, and offering me advice when I needed it and was receptive to it.

I'm not a mother, yet. I don't know about the feelings and emotions of motherhood, the fears and worries and triumphs, those I can only imagine. But something in my heart told me that my mom needed to hear it, that I needed to say it.

Every activity in life is plagued with self doubt at some level. Am I a good enough daughter, a good enough friend, a good enough room mate. Wouldn't it be nice if occasionally someone told us that we were all of those things. If someone appreciated us just for being us for no reason. My mom deserved to hear of her amazing greatness. She is an amazing person, a fatastic woman, an exceptional wife, and greatest of all, my mother.