Desperately Seeking Employment

I despise my job. Since I make minimum wage, I know I cannot make any less. If the economy wasn't in such a hole I would have ditched about of my job months ago since it is so freaking bad. I doubt if I will hold onto my job much longer regardless. As hard as I try to hide my utter hate of walking through those automatic doors into my own living hell. I think it may be bleeding through. I am still nice to the people that walk through those doors looking to spend their hard earned cash. I used to be one of them. But I think that some of my co-workers who have worked there for like a million years are starting to realize just how much I wish I didn't have to be there. I don't go there to entertain myself, in fact I will admit to dreading the days I have to work. And eight hour shifts basically feel like I am being crushed inside a compactor. Enough about my distaste for my job. I do hate it, so what. Lots of people hate their jobs and just like me they stick it out because without that trickle of money coming in they wouldn't be able to make ends meet or feed themselves or their families, so we stick t out.

I have put in at least 50 job applications all over Fresno and Clovis and even out into Madera. In fields ranging from Food service, customer service, to hospital work. But nothing has hit. This economy sucks and the sad thing is that even as it gets better we are still going to have to stick it out and wait until people are not as afraid of the economic downturn. Because if I was an employer I wouldn't hire anybody until we as a nation were well out of recession. Plus corporations or government jobs aren't going to be hiring until bureaucracy warrants enough economic expansion to allow for the freeze to be removed. I can't wait until that day comes. I want no I need to be back in the medical world. I need to love my job, I need to want to work and to go home satisfied with my contribution to the world through my employment.

A Diary of Splendid Proportions

School is back in session, I am not sure yet how I feel about the future of the semester. I know that the bulk of my free time is going to be spent with my nose buried in a book. Nothing strange there except that none of these books are ones I have chosen myself and most of them are of little or no interest to me. And when I am not reading I will be writing fiction stories for my Advanced Fiction Writing Class. I have discovered a new love of writing this year, a love that suprises me since I have always written but usually reports or about things I did not make up. I am a good writer, not a great writer but sufficient. I have always had the urge to create beauty, to make something artistic and wonderful. I always believed that this would be in the form of painting, sculpture, sewing, drawing, physical tangible viewable pieces of art. But that is not where my apptitude lies. My apptitude lies in words, in story telling. It took me twenty two years to realize that skills and talents that I had naturally come by could in fact establish me as a writer an artist of words. So basically I am looking forward to throwing down some crazy good stories in the next few months.

On a more personal note, my baby Darwin is no longer able to procreate. I saved up money and I got him fixed. It truly terrified me since the last time I took one of my beloved pets to the vet to be fixed the vet used to much anethesia and killed him. I was so afraid my little Darwin would not be coming home after his surgery. For days before his appointment I was so afraid to take him, I would tear up every time he cuddled up next to me sweetly. I would feel sick whenever the thought of leaving him with the vet to let him die would cross my mind. But he is home safe and sound as of 8 this morning. He is still in alot of pain and I have to watch him very carefully so he doesn't jump aroud or stretch his sutures. I am still very fearful that he might feel sick or hurt himself but as long as I watch him closely he should be fine.

Money, Money, Money

I hate money. I hate all things associated with money. Like seriously how are we ever supposed to make any progress towards having a secure financial status if we suffer constantly to make the ends meet and only barely. I get some minimum wage job where I work my ass off for next to nothing, and it exhausts me so much that I am basically wiped out after work and can't even keep up with my chores which is another topic entirely.

So basically I barely keep it all together but so far I have done a damn good job of keeping it all together. So I had just enough in my account to pay my bills out of in one account, and that what I did. I paid all my bills but then blockbuster charged me for a movie I didn't buy and I guess at some point before they reversed the charge my electric bill attempted to be pulled out and now I will be lucky if my electric isn't turned off and AHHHHHH. I hate all money all money collectors and everything else associated with money and the devil it works with.

New Year New Post

It's been quite awhile since I have had the time, energy or mental capacity to write something on here. Nothing and everything has changed. I am still living in Fresno, still slowly pushing forward to getting my bachelors degree. Things that have changed include the addition of two new room mates into my Fresno home, new classes, weird work hours, and weirder work experiences. Basically rather than reliving the last two months I will move past those months and just give some high lights and then cover the things I have to look foward to in the next couple of weeks.

For Christmas I got Rockband II, so fun. I bought paint and painted my den a really pretty green, and at some point I am going to turn it into a really nice hangout/guest bedroom. The room mates are officially moved in, still not sure how I feel about having a house full of girls, it reminds me too much of Utah.

School is about to start back next wednesday. I have a pretty full schedule but I think I will totally do great. I am taking swimming, latin, linguistics, and sociology. I was going to take chemistry and bowling too but it was just too many units and the cost for books was insane. I will try to post more often but seriously its not like anyone reads this anyways. Ha Ha Ha.