Thanksgiving

There are so many things I am THANKFUL for this year. So so many. I will forget to mention some things but I am going to do my best.

I am thankful for....
My Mom. She takes such awesome care of me and everyone else around her. I miss her like crazy and really hope she comes to visit on Saturday.
My Dad. Why he isn't exactly a warm loving father, he makes sure we all know how much he cares, by buying things for us and fixing things, and just generally being there any time any place.
My Brother. John is the most kick ass bro I could ask for. The older he gets the more he fakes disdain, but he loves me and he especially loves wrestling on the floor with me. And he knows that he secretly loves it when I kiss him all over his face and cling to him, in the tightest of bear hugs.
My Grandma Grider. Today while I was cooking my Thanksgiving feast, I realized just how much she taught me, and how much I miss her. And sadly how much more I should have learned before she died.
My Darwin. My sweet puppy is the love of my life these last few months. He keeps my bed warm, and offers me unconditional love and I wouldn't change a thing about him.
My Brian. Duh. He is my bestie. I love our random discussion and our million inside jokes and I can't wait until I see him this December so I can hug him so tight I break some ribs. Love you. Not a day goes by that thoughts of you don't make me laugh out loud.
My LoLo aka Number 2 aka Beast aka Lauren. You're old and you know it. Your smarter than you are old, and you know it. But you treat me as a peer, even though I am years behind. I can't wait for you to come see my house. Love you too.
Courty. (smells) Ha Ha my first bestie in Fresno. I appreciate Taco Bell and bonding over "UNA MJURKA" (That was yelled as a curse). I appreciate when you stay at my house and keep me company. I appreciate your silent humor and the way even if what I say isn't funny you laugh like I just said the funniest shit in the world.
Damion. I can always count on you. You are always there for me and I appreciate that.

I am appreciative of many more people but if I named them all we would be here for years.

I am thankful for...
My education and the opportunities I have to become educated. So many people take it for granted, including me but I really am grateful that I can choose to become educated and eventually use my acquired skills to help change the world.
My house. I love my house. I love the idea of having a house. Its spectacular.
My Job. My TV. My bed. The rain. Heavenly Father.

So I'm tired now, but still very happily thankful. Happy (Not Turkey) Day. I had ham.

Job

So I have a job finally. Yay me. I work at Target, and if you know me you know how dangerous that could be. I figure as much time as I spend there they should be paying me already, so I put in an application for the holiday season. Apparently they thought the same since I am now in my second week working there. The particular store I work at is apparently nicknamed Targhetto by some but I really like it. The clientele is not exactly high class, in fact many of them use change and dollar bills to pay for diapers and baby formula. And since we are a "high-risk" store we have about a billion video cameras and all kinds of almost scary rules about safety.

Anyways I love my job 95% of the time, well maybe only 85% but thats pretty good I figure. My one major rant is about folding tables and folding tables and folding tables. Seriously if you want a L shirt and their are a bajillion smalls and mediums on top don't just knock the others out of the way. And please don't pick up every piece of clothing, unfold it and then lay it back on the table. Especially if I'm standing there folding shit. And if you decide you don't actually want something you have in your basket or are carrying around with you, just give it to the cashier when you check out, then I don't have to collect it from the hidden spots you've shoved it or from the random places you've laid it.

That's my rant for the day. Yay me.

Hope and Love in Unusual Places

As a college student there are many times where friends drunk and sober begin silly conversations only to transition into serious life chats and philosophical musings. Recently one of these discussions centered around the way the advances in technology is making us as a society lose our abilities to love and care about people as people. Basically too many important conversations are delegated to IM and text messaging. Too many of our friends are people we have never met but instead people who write blogs or randomly added us on Myspace. Are we missing something? Are we losing something important to our humanity? I tend to take the side against technology. Not to say I am against it. I love my computer, I love the Internet, I love everything that makes my life easier and streamlines my tasks, not to mention helps me stay in touch with loved ones while I am away at school. But I also miss having face to face convos, or at least hearing the other persons voice via telephone. Anyways the point of this blog is that I found an exception to this.

Basically I get bored and I blog stalk. Not just people I know, everyone. I'm not a creepy person, I am just a bored person. While stalking one day I came across a blog written by the sister of a woman who was horribly injured in a plane crash in August along with her husband, and through C Jane's blog I linked to Nie Nie's (the one injured) blog. I read and read and read everything Nie Nie had written. I spent days digging as far back into the past blogs as I could. The honesty of these women, the truth and beauthy of their families, their candidness. It was astounding. Do people like these really exist? Can they?

It's been a few months now, a few obsessive months. I check the blogs regularly waiting for updates on the condition of the young couple, of their four children, and of the people who love them and support them and what they are doing. I read about typical household chores, and about sweet children who are far from home, but loved more than words can express. I get to see pictures of the family and what life was like before the crash, and what I pray life can return to afterwards. I can truly say that I love this family of strangers, from the youngest little chief to the sister who stepped up and opened her home to four children under 7, and especially the creative, amazing, beautiful young mother who slumbers still waiting for her body to heal. I can see the way God has blessed all of them despite the tragedy. I pray that when the time comes for me to have a family, mine will be just as blessed.

I am so excited for the day Nie Nie is able to continue to tell her story. I am excited to hear the positive spin she finds on this horrible event. I am excited to see pictures of the family once they are reunited, soon I hope. I am even excited for the time when they move past this and I get to read about their new adventures.

So is technology causing us to lose our humanity. I'm not sure. But I do know that without blog stalking I would not have found this family that has impacted me so strongly, I would not have been blessed by the words on the pages. I would not have been inspired and excited about having a family. Can you love someone you've never met? Someone who doesn't even know you exist? I say yes. I say I do and I'm proud to admit. If I can be half the woman Nie Nie or her sister C Jane is then I will be happy.

Thanks for reading my random ramblings.

Beatles Describes My Life

*Choose a singer/band/group.
* Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group.

1. Are you male or female? Another Girl
2. Describe yourself. Money (Thats What I Want)
3. What do people feel when they're around you? Run For Your Life
4. How would you describe your previous relationship? It's Been Hard Days Night
5. Describe your current relationship. So How Come (No One Loves Me)
6. Where would you want to be now? Across the Universe
7. How do you feel about love? All You Need is Love
8. What's your life like? Everybody's Got Something to Hide but Me and my Monkey
9. What would you ask for if you had only one wish? Love Me Do
10. Say something wise. Don't Ever Change

If you know me and are close enough to me that we have become friends you know my method for making friends is stupid, immature and I have utterly no control over it. And if you don't know me I will detail my retarded ways.

I tend to pick people out, some of whom I've never talked to, mostly by how I've observed them to be. Then after I pick them out I choose to make friends with them. Then I basically do everything I can to become friends with said person. Then once we are friends, just fledgling friends, I begin to tease them and make fun at their expense. I am not sure why I do this but I always have. Then they get upset, and that makes me absolutely miserable. Well I am in the miserable state right now, because I've done it again.

I just don't know how to escape this vicious cycle. I just don't get the stop hints. I would rather someone just straight up tell me to stop then to take it until they are mad but they never do and its too late when I finally get the hint. So basically bye bye buddy. No wonder I spend more time alone than with anyone else. Thank god I have Darwin or I would really be all alone.

Octoberfest

It's October YAY. Fall is my favorite season and Halloween is just a great holiday. I love the way nature changes and the color schemes are so much more intense and beautiful. Living in Fresno, I can go to Woodward park and the Chinese gardens there and look at the leaves and the ponds and their reflections. I love the sound of crunchy leaves when you walk on them and when they are blowing across the sidewalk. I love to be cold and I love when a random sprinkle makes the smell of dirt and freshness pop. I love when it really rains at night and you wake up to puddles and just can't resist to splash in them just a little. I love to wrap up with a blanket and a book and find someplace in the sun to read and relish in the cool weather. I love to have chili beans or home-made soup made in a crock pot, so the smell wafts through the house all day. And since I got my own crock pot for my birthday, I am ready to make soup, yum. I Love football and we are into the season now, I love going to the football games and drinking hot chocolate and cheering for my team with everything I have.

I love drinking sweet hot drinks, the cup keeps my hands warm and the drink warms me up inside. Fall and Spring are wonderful seasons but with the addition of Halloween and my birthday Fall wins. I love scary movies and for a few weeks every October, the world becomes one, a little bit. I love watching the cute little kids in their costumes. I love the spider webs and ghosts lurking around every corner. I am excited for this month. I love carving pumpkins with friends and family and displaying them for the enjoyment of others. Last year I carved Spongebob and it was awesome. Well Happy October to all of you and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

I feel older. Not in the good way. I have never been so unhappy about a birthday before in my life. I dread tomorrow, Birthdays Have always been a cool thing inmy book. A day where people are nice to you and acknowledge you. I strive to make the birthdays of my friends at least reasonable and now I realize I don't have friends that would do the same for me, and those that would are no where near enough to make my day reasonable. Thinking about how tomorrow will pass without a single birthday hug or a trip out to dinner with a loved one. I will write more when the sadness wears off, until then Happy Birthday Me.

The Body Aches

So far today I have had three showers, two injuries, 1 phone call, 1 door fall on my head, a couple of smashed fingers, paint covering my arms and hands and even my hair. I've planted 21 flowers, pulled a bazillion weeds, watered my entire yard front and back. Painted 4 doors and their jams. Read 100 pages of Lord of the Rings, dug 3 holes. Mowed my entire yard front and back. I've done two loads of laundry.

Basically I have been really busy and my entire body feels it. My legs feel like I've ran a marathon and even though I have paint everywhere I am so just gonna wash it off in the sink before I crash. And tomorrow, I am going to be just as busy. My mom is coming to visit and I need to make sure my house is completely up to date. Well I should try to get more done before bed, so I am off.

Fresno State vs Wisconsin

So Saturday I went to the Fresno State vs Wisconsin game. It was so fun. I had a student ticket, and a couple of my new friends did too so we went together. They came over at 2 to pick me up and we went over to KFC and got a tailgate special and came back to my place to eat. Then we headed over to Damions house to hang out before the game. He lives right across the street from the stadium entrance so we headed over to his place hours before the game and only barely made it before the streets got blocked off. We walked over t the stadium nearly 3 hours before the game was supposed to start. The student section had already begun to fill. Student seats are first come, first served so you have to get their early if you want to sit near the front, which we did. We wound up about 7 rows up which wound up being really great seats. The other thing about the student section is, while there are seats, no one uses them nearly.

The game was great and the excitement in the stadium was envigorating. I was sad we had lost and so was everyone else. The Fresno State Fans were quiet and just swept along with the hordes of people exiting the stadium. Most of the Wisconsin fans were smart enough not to make too much noise about winning but some of them that did had to figt off a few pissed fans. Not to mention te Fresno State fans who decided to fight with each other. But overall it was a fun and exciting experience. When I came home I scanned through ESPN's coverage of the game (I had DVR'd it), and I saw myslef on there cheering for the dogs. I havn't watched all of it but some of the people around me at the game had said that friends had seen them 3 or 4 times and since I was right there with them I should be there a few times too. Yay me. Hope you're having a great week and I'll write again soon.

My September 11th.

So even though it was heartless and a little self absorbed I didn't appraoch today in the way that many Americans did. September 11th has always been a special day in my life. September 11th is my dad's birthday, and one of my best friends too. So I awoke this morning and approached it like any other day, with two very important birthday calls to make. But as the day passed and I had time to think about the significance of 9/11/01. The impact it had on the world, on America, on Americans, on my family and particularly on me.

I remember that morning. I was a sophmore in highschool, my mom woke me up and told me to come watch the tv. Though only one plane had hit the towers, I was already worried about family I had in NYC. My aunt and her husband and their twins who would turn one the next day. I never moved from the front of the tv while I was getting ready and we listened to the radio updates the entire way to school. At school no work was done, we just sat there in a shocked silence. Annoying and petulant teens, many of whom have no respect for themselves, or anyone else were uncharacteristically respectful. At some point during the day the news media began to suspect that other terrorist attacks would be soon to follow. It was mentioned that the oil fields of Socal could possibly be a target and then the fear for myself and my family sat in. I went to my friends house, It was her 18th birthday and she was supposed to be having a party, only thanks to NYC only me and her boyfriend showed up. We started watching the news updates, but that was a downer, so we ordered pizza and put on a movie. For weeks after that there was a scent of fear in the air. And seven years later a faint tinge of that fear still drifts in the breeze. We all act as though we are not afraid any more, but 9/11 shifted all of us. A small part of us believes that if it happened once it could happen again. Maybe thats true but me, I just want to continue enjoying my life while its still mine to live, and if that means putting a horrible tragedy like 9/11 out of my mind, then so be it.

Home Sweet Fresno

So I moved into my house on August 28th. There was a lot of work to be done, but with the help of my family we made a large dent in the workload. Sunday night my dad and brother headed home, (Dove season began Monday morning and they didn't want to miss the first hunt). My mom and I continued working all day Monday and I dropped her off at the train station on Monday night. Sleeping posed a problem the first few nights in the house, but slowly I am becoming more and more able to fall asleep. I still sleep with my dads pistol on the night stand but that will go away eventually.

As for school, I pretty much love it. There is an energy on campus that I havn't felt at any other school I've attended. Its like you know you're there for learning but you can feel that a spontaneous explosion of fun could be just around the next corner. Like yesterday, Best Buy came with their Guitar Hero motor coach and they had a competition all day long. Random but tons of fun to watch and listen to. Not to mention the million other cool things going on. Last week the Ag program came and sold organic healthy home(school) grown snacks. And this Saturday I am going to watch the Football game with some of my new friends. Its supposed to be one of the best Football games this year, aside from the game against UCLA which I also have tickets to.

My classes are pretty good. I am taking Ceramics, Creative Fiction Writing, Philosophy of Tolkien, and Microbial Physiology. I love my ceramics class but its so obvious my lack of creative skills, but I try and I enjoy doing it so I make it work. My Philosophy class should be the most fun, interesting class I have but the teacher brings that down with his lack of self confidence and his fear of public speaking, plus he was born a major nerd and it bled through into his adulthood. My Fiction writing class stinks in that I looked forward to writing fantasy fiction and the teacher only allows us to write literary fiction. But I enjoy writing so it could be worse. Now my microbial physiology class is interesting to say the least. The teacher is a Korean national with a heavy accent, making it nearly impossible at times to understand him. Plus its his first semester teaching this class, so he is feeling his way through it all. I think I will survive though, I have a great lab group and its a small class so we all talk about our questions and confusions before class begins.

I love living in Fresno and didn't realize how much until I went back home for the weekend. I love my family, that is for sure but they are stressful. My brother is at that age where he is basically a pain in the ass and my parents have to fight with him alot to get him to do anything. I remember going through this when I was that old. Anyways the yelling makes me cringe and I'm sure there are physiological responses too. Its just not healthy to have that kind of environment. I do wish I lived with someone right now though. Its too quiet and it gets lonely sometimes.

But I guess I am offically a resident of Fresno for the long haul. This house belongs to my family and it was purchased expressly for me. Its a little scary, I am stuck in Fresno for a least a few years if not longer. That means going home only as a visitor, and my brother makes that very obvious when I speak to him. Good thing I love my house. Come visit me already.

What's Going on this Month Part II

So less than a week before I get my first home. I am so incredibly excited. As un-creative, as I am, I am doing my best to make creative pieces of decoration for my new home. I hate trying to fake being creative but with money as such an issue, it is definitely the only way that I am going to get a nice finished looking bedroom. Then after that I will concentrate on getting the rest of the house to look picture perfect.

Last Saturday I went to my cousin Cayla's wedding. I really dreaded going and I am not sure why I was so adverse to going. Perhaps it was because the groom was only 18 and the bride only 21, or it could have been that I had only met the groom (Chase) twice ever. And maybe it was the plether of negative information I had learned from other members of my family about Chase and his ex-girlfriend. All I know is that going to that wedding was the last thing I wanted to do Saturday. But since I have a very strong familial guilt complex, I struggled to throw on an appropriate outfit at 4:00, (we had to leave by 4:30, so I was really cutting it close). I got to the wedding and felt even more out of place. Cayla is one of those girls who cares more about the way that she looks than anything else, and her friends are like a pack of perfect little barbies.

Glancing at the program I was so pleased to see that Cayla had listed my uncle Keith, her stepfather, as her father. That was the first positive feeling I had about the nuptials. The wedding ceremony was blah, but at the reception, I began to see how much Chase truly cared about Cayla. And I have to say that the alcohol, made the rosy glasses come on full force. Plus I enjoy spending time with my cousins. It wound up being a pretty good evening.

I really love my family, all of them. I have this huge crazy insane family, and while some of them are more pleasant than others, and some of them make more sense than others, they all have their places. My family is like a giant jigsaw puzzle and we all fit together the way we are supposed to. Without even one of us, the puzzle would be incomplete, and even with all of our character flaws, the pieces fit together just as god intended.

What's Up This Month

So I'm on two different count downs. One is going to school in the fall, I'm transferring to Fresno State and I am so so excited. I thought about it for a long time, and found that transferring to CSUB would have been really stupid. But I am 100% sure of my decision and I am so excited about diving right into my new life in Fresno. It won't be a completely new experience since my family lived in Fresno while my dad was a student at Fresno State. I went on a campus tour during my new student orientation and I am basically in love with it. Other than the very random fine for picking roses (100 bucks per flower). But other than that the campus is very well situated and has alot of fun things like a bowling alley and movie theater on campus not to mention a bunch of restaurants and even a salon. Plus the Savemart Center is on campus and it continually draws big names for concerts. And Football. Hello the bulldogs football rocks and they are #1 in baseball too.

The second countdown is to the house we are buying officially being mine. I get the keys 1 week from today as long as nothing bad happens, and I am sure it will be fine. Then just to fix it up so living there will be amazing. I have more to say but no more energy. So late.

40 Random Details

Be honest no matter what

[1] Who are your last four texts from? Vanessa and Monique

[2] Where / when was your default pic taken? Early this year in my bedroom

[3] What is your middle name? Ann

[4] Your current relationship status? Single

[5]

[6] What is your current mood? Sleepy and Enigmatic

[7] Whats your moms name? Lisa

[8] What color shirt are you wearing? Gray

[9] Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Nope

[10] If you could go back in time and change something would you? I'm sure I would

[11] Do you have a crazy side? For sure.

[12] Ever had a near death experience? I almost drowned when I was younger and I have been in a couple of near crash experiences.

[13] What is something you do a lot? Comfort my friends

[14] Angry at anyone?Just myself

[15] Do you wanna see somebody right now? Always

[16] Do you like drama? Not so much, but my friends seem to

[17] When was the last time you cried? Yesterday, I had a breakdown

[18] Who would you do anything for? My family and a few of my friends

[19] Who is your hero?My mom

[20] What is the one thing you notice about the opposite sex first?Hair

[21]??

[22] Whats your biggest secret? And give it up on here for nothing yeah I'm not that stupid

[23] Where is your ex? Not in my life anymore

[24] Would you ever take them back? No

[26] What are you eating or drinking at the moment? Nada

[27] Do you speak any other language?Not really

[28] Whats your favorite smell? I like vanilla, coconut

[29] Describe your life?Finally moving in the right direction.

[30] Have you ever kissed in the rain?Yeah

[31] Do you like the rain?yes

[32] What are you thinking about right now? About the secret Ninja who wrote the questions that seem to be invisible.

[33] What should you be doing right now?Getting up and dressed.

[34] What is your favorite memory? The awe I felt when I was in Egypt and realized that little me was here where someone equally as small built these spectacular temples and tombs.

[35] What are you listening to? My annoying brother making random sounds and noises

[36] Who was the last person you told i love you to? Brian

[37] Who was the last person you yelled at? My annoying brother John to shut up

[38] Do you act differently around the person you like?I am shyer

[39]??

[40]Who was the last person to make you smile? Sebastian

Scandal

I was talking to a friend about their most scandalous act, moment, etc. We decided its hould stay PG-13 at worst just to keep the M rating off the menu. Since it would be wrong of me to divulge my friends scandal, I've decided to divulge my own. This is seriously the worst I've ever done, even without any rating censorship.

A little more than three yeas ago I went on vacation to Egypt. It was truly a wonderous trip. I learned more about history and about myself in those few weeks then I learned in many many years of school. Any ways the trip will remain with my forever. Well on this trip I was just finishing my first year of college and had just broken up with my first college boyfriend, whom I had dated for a little over 6 months. On the trip I met a young Egyptian man, he worked in a gift store in the lobby of one of my hotels. He was really handsome and was into me too. One night after everyone else had gone to sleep, I went back downstairs to meet Markous. We sat in a secluded corner of the lobby, holding hands. We talked for hours and when he leaned into to kiss me I let him. We sat there talking and kissing for hours, finally watching the sun rise over the Nile. With one last kiss and an email address hastily scrawled on a scrap of hotel stationary, we left each other never to hear from or see each other ever again.

For some this story was not a scandal, for some it is. For me it was an experience unlike any I have ever had in my life. A little scandal to remind me that one doesn't have to be responsible always. Once in awhile you can do something stupid and it isn't the end of the world.

This Summer...

This blog is going to be about me finishing this sentence.

This summer.... I will find a job in Fresno, hopefully at a hospital or medical facility of some sort.

This summer.... I will rent my very own apartment in Clovis. My god sister may live with me if she can find a job before move in time but if not I will be on my own.

This summer.... I will train myself to live healthier. My MVP is acting up and my chest is very sore so I think taking my medication regularly is a good idea, and not exercising beyond my capabilities (that means lots of swimming and Wii fit and randomly rockband too).

This summer.... I will finish my first novel.

This summer... I will learn to play 3 songs on either the guitar or the piano.

I have so much more that I want to accomplish but I am super tired.

BTW I made Southwest Chipotle Chicken Pizza with corn and black beanson the BBQ today. It was totally a gamble but the whole wheat crust and grilling was awesome. Much love all.

Is Mother Nature Fighting Back?

All it takes is one quick peek at the television or newspaper to see the strength and power of mother nature. It seems that everyday there is a new story about mother nature fighting back. Tornadoes in Colorado, Earthquakes in China and everywhere else, Mud slides, floods, fires, and many other acts of nature devastating communities around the world. As far back as I can remember the news never included so much about natural disasters. Some people say its a sign of the times, a precursor to the end of days, that's not the direction I take, at least I hope its not.

For years upon years we have been ruining the world around us. Littering, deforestation, over-population, polluting, etc. Few of us appreciate the natural world around us and those of us who do are running out of places to enjoy. Can we blame the world for fighting back? Mother Nature is a beautiful thing, most of the time, but she can also be a vengeful. Why do people only appreciate the power of nature when its negative? The more destruction we bring forth on our delicate planet, the more likely we are to feel the wrath of a vengeful Mother Nature.

So whats your opinion? Is Mother Nature Fighting Back?

Little Known Fact About Me From Years Previous

When I was about eight or nine years old, I was a precocious young girl. I kept my nose buried in a book more often than not and had surpassed the reading levels of my peers and many of the teenagers and college students living nearby. My mom was hard pressed to keep me with an adequate supply of quality reading material (her hand-me-downs were gushy love novels with explicit scenes and therefore wholely inappropriate). My Grandma, who was also a book worm began giving me books she enjoyed, mostly murder mysteries by authors such as Mary Higgins Clark, John Grisham and the like. One day she gave me a book called Cruel and Unusual written by Patricia Cornwell.

The book is about a medical examiner named Kay Scarpetta who finds the finger prints of a recently executed criminal on a new crime scene. Scarpetta has to determine if someone is toying with her and solve the crime before someone close to her becomes the next victim. Heavy reading for a nine year old but for me it was like a light bulb flashing an amazing career opportunity. But a nine year old saying she wants to answer questions posed by the dead (cut up bodies/ perform autopsies) tends to bring out red flag and not to mention just freaks the normal person out so I let it go mostly.

Through highschool I wanted to be a business major specializing in international business, mostly because I love to travel and what better way to do it than on someone elses dollar, but still the idea of becoming a medical examiner tickeled the far recesses of my brain. When in my first semester in college I realized how truly boring the bleak world of business was I turned tail and ran right back into the field of science. While becoming a doctor is not quite a medical examiner, the thoughts of tweaking my career aspirations still plays games in my head on quiet nights when there is little else to think of. The pay is significantly less as a medical examiner, but as a doctor you hold people's lives in your hands by the minute and one wrong move can kill. But as a medical examiner, evn if every thing goes wrong the worst that can happen is you get a heart rate ( not mine I read it once). But seriously, if I could find away to shut myself off emotionally at work being a medical examiner would be really fufilling (not so much on a financial level but money isn't everything). I guess I have time to make a decison though because medical examiners are supposed to be MD's too, so at least 6 more years to make up my mind.

Questionable Aspirations

Nearly everyone has heard of Ebola, and anyone with half a brain fears and respects this deadly virus. When those who are not well versed in the pathology of the virus think of this disease, a vision of bloody corpses and piles of rotting bodies is forefront in their minds. This however is not the case, while Ebola does cause bleeding, it is not nearly as significant as the entertainment industry would have us believe. Yet Ebola is still one of the most dangerous viruses known to man. In an age of vast medical and scientific break throughs, Ebola remains a mystery. While there are many theories as to what hosts the Ebola virus (where it resides in nature), no one knows for sure. Ebola shows up, kills mercilessly, and then vanishes again leaving questions unanswered. Now why this monolouge about Ebola, well it boils down to one of my greatest aspirations.

Ebola is a level four biohazard meaning the virus requires the top level of security in order to handle the virus ie Space suit, negative air pressure, decon shower in and out, etc. At last check there are only two laboratories in the US equipped to handle the virus. Ebola fascinates me and at some point in my life I want to be able to handle the virus personally. I want to qualify to enter Biohazard Containment Level 4 and using all proper precautions actually hold the virus in my extremely protected hand. Its insane, why would anyone want to subject themseleves to this. I only have one defense... Its part of who I am. I love Ebola, it makes me smile to think of the sheer power of this naturally occuring virus. I am so obsessive with the virus that I even have a stuffed Ebola virus that I keep in my room. I'm not sure how but someday I will hold Ebola in my hands, and I can't wait for that day to come.

My First Blog

This is my first blog ever and I will probably suck beyond reason at updating it. So to introduce myself. I am a 21 year old college student, currently unemployed but looking for a job. I received my associate of science in Biology in Dec. of 2006, and transferred to BYU. I barely survived that semester and stayed home in the fall completing more general ed classes at BC and now I am transferring again. I'm sticking closer to home this time and will be living on my own or with my god sister. I'll be transferring to Fresno State or CSUB for fall. I'm registered as a Biology major with an emphasis in Human Anatomy and Physiology. Once I get my BS I will take a few years off and then I will take the MCAT and hopefully head off to medical school.

I love to travel and have been to five of the seven continents. I will hopefully be to all seven before I turn 30. I like to read, play video games, watch movies, swim and play 2 on 2 basketball with my family. My favorite tv show is Grey's Anatomy. And beyond that I'm just too complicated to continue. :)